Values

What are values?

They aren’t tangible, so I certainly can’t hold them and tell everyone how interesting they are or proudly display them on my bookshelf beside my awards, books, and trinkets I’ve collected over the years. I also can’t possibly reach them or accomplish them for our values are the degree of importance we assign to our behaviours and actions.

These values guide our actions and behaviours and hence, are key when it comes to fulfilment and contentment in our career and relationships (whether with others, ourselves, or things/concepts).

Since they guide our actions and behaviours, values are in fact chosen. Whatever kind of life we have lived, we are always choosing our values. The struggles, hardships, trials, and tribulations we endure, all amassed many values in the end. Often when someone has a hard time figuring out what’s important to them at a job, I tell them to imagine an ideal day at a workplace and start with every detail. From getting up in the morning to the first thing they do when they go to work. Every single detail. It’s in these details that I am able to discern certain values that are attributed to the actions and behaviours being described. Another exercise I like to do (often with myself) is to think back on my most memorable moments - times where I felt most fulfilled in my life. I recall back to that time and start writing down whatever comes to mind and later, extrapolate certain values that are defined within each statement. You can also do this with the people you admire or look up to. What about them do you admire so much? What did they stand for? Do you stand for the same things and if so, how do you show that in your life? You can’t say you value love if all you do is watch cat videos all day on Youtube and complain about how stupid marriage is. You can’t value integrity if you complain about your job all the time and you can’t value honesty if you can’t even stay true to yourself.

There is a difference between admiring certain values versus living your values - which is the whole point of having values. Look at how you have made decisions in the past, whether they are career related or involved a parting with a loved one - friend, family, or significant other (or even a job). What was the reason that you parted ways and are you still living by those same principles and values? Sometimes our values might change as we gain more wisdom through the failures and opportunities that come with age and experience but one thing remains the same - we always chose what we value.

I am not a fan of social media - don’t get me wrong. I think it’s an excellent tool to promote businesses and stay connected with a community, however, I also think it has many downfalls. It is incredibly easy to “share” with the world - everything you’ve ever wanted to share. We are constantly thrown into a room full of opinions of what should and should not be, how a person should or should not live their life, and how you should buy this product as it will make you BETTER! Better how exactly? Whose ideals are we capitalizing on and to what extent? This is a topic that deserves its own post but I wanted to stress the potential damage it can do to certain individuals as it persuades them to act in contrast to their true core values. Perhaps this might be one of the reasons I am encountered by such disingenuity. It’s quite rare to meet people who actually live by the values they stand for, because it’s just too easy these days to think you want to be a certain way because someone has convinced you somehow. Or perhaps you are not even sure what it is that you value because you’ve been too busy basking in the values of those imposing their beliefs and opinions on you? When was the last time you disconnected and just listened to your own thoughts? If we didn’t have social media, would you still be living the life that you are posting about? Sometimes we are so caught up in our insecurities that we are ashamed of our values and that’s quite a shame in itself. There is no hierarchy in values - it’s what you decide. There’s no shame in valuing beauty, aesthetics, and design. You can also value money, prestige, power. At the end of the day, it’s all up to you. It takes a certain amount of self reflection to come to the point where you are content with your decisions, because they would have aligned themselves with your values. These are the actions you prioritize.

There’s something so beautiful, so powerful, and alluring about someone who stands up for what they believe in. You know why? It’s because they are the embodiment of their values. No one can take that away from them and no one can buy or sell those values. No amount of social media posts can convey those values because once you meet that person, you’ll know.

So what do you value in life, career, etc? Are you living by those values and are you sincere and genuine in the way you live by them?