A Woman Makes A Plan by Maye Musk
Summary
This book is divided into 28 chapters and 5 themes (Beauty, Adventure, Family, Success, Health), each of which contains around 5-6 chapters and very much reads like a series of essays and stories. Narrated by Maye Musk, she shares her life stories embedded with little tidbits of sincere advice and wisdom. She’s certainly led a very interesting life and it was quite fun reading about her parents who one day, decided to move from Regina, Saskatchewan to Pretoria, South Africa for their beautiful lilac jacaranda trees (among other reasons). She’s had an adventurous life with her family after which she married and started her own life. As an adult, she’s moved to 9 cities in 3 countries and that takes a lot of courage and organization to pull off. From her adventures from when she was young, to the dark chapter of her marriage, to her breaking free and finding her freedom while supporting her own dreams and kids, to finding her ground, again and again, this book is a testament to this: hard work pays off. From her kids to her very own attitude on life and while admitting the privilege she was born into, Maye shares stories that really make you view this remarkable woman for her own personal character: her attitude, adventurous spirit, determination, hard work, and resilience. It was a joy to read her book. It was almost like reading fiction (which I don’t like) and I struggled a bit here and there trying to find common themes in all of the stories to see how they connect, but it did flow in its own way - and that’s by the themes/chapter. So long as you’re not obsessing over a clear theme between all chapters, you can enjoy each for its own stories and wisdom.
summary of quotes/thoughts from maye(most if not all are direct quotes)
Life doesn’t always go as expected. You have to make a plan and take a chance. Face your problems one at a time but you need to plan and make a move. Anything is possible with a good attitude, a plan, and some courage.
You don’t have to slow down as you age to move ahead in life. Remember to have fun. Look after yourself by eating well, smiling, being active, happy, and confident.
You need to look forward to your work and love it. The longer you stay at a place you are not happy, you will suffer and life will be miserable. If the situation is not making you happy, get out as soon as you can. Even if you have nothing to look forward to, or have nothing left after, or will be financially strapped. I guess what she is really saying here is just make a move and until you do, you’ll know how to face the next problem with a clear mind.
It’s better to be interesting than to be beautiful. Be kind, listen, be upbeat. Don’t talk about how miserable your life is. Everyone has something they are good at - work on that and share it with others. Smile, be confident, have a sense of humour. Move on and be happy with yourself, laugh at yourself.
You don’t have to be stylish, just find a stylish friend and listen to their advice. Walk taller, smile, and get comfortable with your new style.
Always wear sunscreen and enjoy makeup as it can transform your look!
Have a good posture. Walk tall and have good manners.
Say Yes more. Look for opportunities that make you happy and keep opening doors for yourself in your life.
When you are in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Get out. Get out as soon as you can. Make a plan for finances and logistics. It will get tougher before it gets better but you will get though the periods of extreme loneliness. Visit and find support in family, friends, and professionals. You have nothing to lose if you’ve tried your best and the person you are with doesn’t change. The only thing you can change is yourself. There’s no reason to remain unhappy for the rest of your life.
Turn your life around. Plan. Spend half hour everyday remembering happy times in your life and that might help you decide what to do next.
Work at being healthy. It’s hard work if you’re not naturally lean. Eat only when hungry, eat healthy foods, not overeating. Make a plan and stick to it for the change you want to see. It’s hard work and you’ll have to work at it every day - but it will be so worth it.
Maye brought up her children like her parents taught her: to be independent, kind, honest, considerate, and polite, to work hard and do good things. She didn’t treat them like babies and scolded them, or told them what to study. They benefited by taking responsibility early on. Children don’ need to be protected from the realities of responsibilities. Once you know they are in safe situations, let them look after themselves. She still disciplined them if they were loud or naughty but she was also a busy working mother and seems like she also has a kind temper with them - which goes a long way.
Maye let her kids follow their interests. Funny enough, they all pursued what they wanted as adults, in the same things as when they were twelve. She encouraged them, helped them and gave them advice. Teach your children good manners and let them decide what they want.
Starting over is hard. When you move to a new place, you have to get out. You have to meet new people and be social, because that’s where your work comes from. It’s uncomfortable being alone at a party, but stick around, even if for an hour and give it a chance (that’s what Maye does). Someone might talk to you if you give it a chance.
Connect with people, join every association that relates to your profession. Connect with your colleagues.
Change cities, countries, if you have to. If you’ve got to move somewhere new, give it three years and work hard at it. If it still doesn’t help, you can go back to your former situation.
Appreciate kindness from strangers. Appreciate the good things that are happening in your life. When you are in tough situations, look for support in family and friends, and even strangers. And be kind to strangers too.
The harder you work, the luckier you get! She quotes a saying “At twenty one, you are no longer an orphan”. You need to take responsibility for your future life. The harder you work, the easier it is for luck to find you.
Ask for what you want- persistence leads to success. If you ask for something and they say no, move on. But if you want something, you’ve got to keep asking.
Feel fantastic - don’t wallow in disappointment. If you are disappointed, go in a different direction. If you were dumped or didn’t get that job, forget about it and keep going. If you’re rejected from a home mortgage, keep working to improve your credit rating. Stay as positive as you can. Time heals. Try to recover from disappointment quicker than I did. And maybe get a dog.
Move ahead. Starting over could be the best thing you do. If you think you can improve your situation, it’s worth trying. You need to have a reason to move. You may want to explore better opportunities, get away from bad situations, or just take a chance. It could be the best thing you do.
Push your boundaries. What I have learned is that sometimes you could be uncomfortable with your style, but give it a try, and don’t let anything like age limit you.
You’re never too old to learn a new technology. You’ll make lots of mistakes, but don’t let that stop you from making them. It’s fun and it helps you connect to the world (social media that is!).
You can be happy in love or you can be happy on your own. If you want to fall in love, you must date. You need ot get out and meet friends who have friends who could possible date you, or try online dating. Dating is hard. Relationships are complicated. But that shouldn’t deter you. You have to do what makes you happy. If you’re with someone you don’t love but you enjoy their company, like a best friend, you might be find with that. If that person makes you happier when you are with them than when you’re alone, then that’s fine. But if you are unhappy with someone, it’ best to get out. There is no point in being with someone you don’t enjoy.
Friendships are just as important as any other relationships.
Eating well makes you happy. When you eat well, you have a lot more energy. The important thing is to focus on having hope and being excited about the day. All diets require planning ahead. Some good diets are DASH diet, Mediterranean diet, Flexitarian. Planning is necessary, and it starts with early in the morning for breakfast. Don’t go too long without food as it will make you hungry. Notice if you are eating out of unhappiness or boredom, as you may need to address those first.
Her nutrition advice is sound. As a fellow almost Dietitian - well that just means we studied Dietetics so I know and agree with everything she talks about with regards to health. She, unlike me, went on to pursue her master’s in science, twice and has a whole career as a practicing Dietitian. So suffice to say, her thoughts on food and nutrition are all sound and evidence-based. There really is no secret pill. Just eat your vegetables, fruit, whole grains, dairy. Eating in moderation and when you are hungry. The best plan is a sustainable one, one you will stick to, one where you can eat when you are stressed, tired, or too busy to pay attention or have time. There is no pill - but a plan.
Keep temptation out of reach. If you have trigger foods, keep them away, keep them out of the house. Know your weakness and keep them out of reach. If you eat good food, you will be healthy, energized, and feel nourished. If you eat something that was bad, skip the guilt and move on, make your next meal a good one. Carry on as if nothing happened and do your best moving forward.
Choose activities that you enjoy. Keep moving. Being active makes you feel good and when you feel good, you take care of your body and therefore all the good habits will lead to good health and weight loss (if that’s part of your plan). Listen to your body. Try different things and find what works for you to keep you active and moving.
Mix with happy people - healthy relationships are good for you. If you have a family that makes you unhappy, find friends that make you happy and make you smile. Maye is lucky to have a very happy family where they allow everyone to be themselves (when going for family vacations).
It’s great to be seventy-one - keep smiling. If you live long enough, problems repeat themselves. Don’t be afraid of aging and mix with friends who are not afraid of aging. Aging just keeps giving you more confidence :)
Make your plan - start now. Keep working hard, making a new plan, and moving forward. There are no quick fixes in life. What’s needed is to work hard, optimism, and honesty; common sense, and a plan. If you make a plan and it doesn’t work, make a new one. It will be like a roller coaster (your life) and that is okay. When you are down, you will need a plan to come out. As you age, the downs are less tragic, less painful, and less hurtful, because you’ve been through them before.
You have to decide for yourself when you want to be happy. When is that? Why delay changing your career, improving your health, having a happy family and friends, loving your life? At times, I never thought I would be happy. Ever! And then I made a plan to get out because continued unhappiness is not a way to live. So make your plan now.
I would recommend this book to
If you like stories but also want a self-help book that reads more like a series of little life stories
If you, like me, never had a healthy relationship (or any) with your grandparents. It was so refreshing to read Maye’s story and life advice. It’s as if she was my grandmother or mother - I will cherish her stories and her wisdom forever and will take her advice and pass it on to my family. Thanks, mama Maye!
You want a fast read, self-help book.
You are bonkers for Elon Musk - then why not read about the amazing woman that birthed him?!
If you’ve been through hell in a relationship and had to come out strong. Her story is truly inspiring.